Help Me, Please Just Help Me
by CarterMacGyver
Summary: Sam needs help, will she ask the guys in time, or will they have to discover it on their own? And what happens if it is too late? JS


Disclaimer: I don't own, so don't sue. I have no money so it would be very very pointless to sue me.

A/N:I'm putting this up because I'm not very happy right now, and this is not a happy story. I was told today that next Wednesday I have to have four wisdom teeth pulled, and that along with chronic insomnia has pretty much killed my day.

Anyway, this story takes place before Threads, and in my little universe, Sam knew about Kerry before then. I didn't like the idea of Jacob dying, and the fact that he doesn't is that I started this last fall long before Threads aired when the only thing I knew was that Jack was going to get a girlfriend, Kerry Johnson. Since I have always despised Pete, I wanted to write a story with hi as the villain. I know that Sam is a strong woman, and part of me can't see her putting up with any kind of abuse, but I thought that in her desperation to get a life, a normal one, she would be willing to put up with a lot. After all this is Sam who always has to take blame for things that are out of her control. So, this is not a very happy story. Yes, it has a happy ending, I'm a sucker that way, I can't write a sad ending. But, this is a definite Sam-whumper. I don't kill anyone, least of all Sam, I couldn't, besides kill Sam and no happy ending. This story deals with abuse and that is a very serious subject. I know very little about it, however, so any errors on Sam's state of mind, on the way the guys act, and on what the doctors' say are mine. One thing I have heard repeated time and time again is that abuse is not the victim's fault, and it isn't. So if you or someone you know is being abused, please seek help.

On a happier note, please review. Reviews make me happy. If I'm happy, I might put up the next chapter of Wonders of the Galaxy. But I'm holding out until at least one more person reviews.

Help Me, Please Just Help Me

Another Monday morning, another day. But I wish it wasn't another day. Every day that I continue it gets worse. Everything is not as perfect and wonderful as I pretend it is. But no one notices my lie. My best friends don't see the hole that I am sinking into. I know how to get myself out of this. How to get out of this relationship that I pretend is perfect, all I have to do is leave. Just tell Pete that it's over, but I can't. I've been here before and even though I promised myself I would never come back, here I am.

Here I am, Samantha Carter, a Lt. Colonel in the Air Force, a member of SG-1, I kick Goa'uld ass on a weekly, even daily basis, I help save the world almost every other week, but here I am, once again trapped in an abusive relationship.

I don't really know how it started; everything was perfect; Pete was perfect. Well not perfect, he isn't Jack, but since I can't have Jack, Pete seemed like the next best thing. Jack didn't appear to mind when I told him that Pete had proposed and his answer to my question was confusing at best, and now he's with Kerry so it doesn't matter we both moved on from just caring to much. Except that the feelings didn't go away, at least not for me. But with Pete, I could at least be content, until he moved in.

Pete slowly took over my life, and I let him. My therapist from years ago, from after Jonas had told me that the abused are more likely to end up back in abusive relationships unless they are very careful. I thought I was different, I thought I had learned, I thought I would never be back here, well here I am.

Right back where I started.

Alone and scared.

I can admit to being scared, Pete scares me. I'm terrified and there's nothing I can do. I tried fighting back, but he's stronger, I tried hiding, but he always finds me. I have Level Three Advanced Hand-to-Hand Combat Training and it's still not enough to protect myself. I can't stay on base all the time. Jack, even though he's a general now, even though he's moved on, still orders me home if he thinks I've been working to hard or if he thinks that I need to sleep. I'd stay in my on-base quarters all the time but people would talk. They would wonder why I don't go home to my fiancé. I can't tell my team, it's like I let them down. They never liked Pete; I can't face their pity, or their disappointment. And with the entire base such a close-knit community, everyone would know the truth.

That the great Sam Carter lets her fiancé hit her, lets him hurt her.

Yeah, I can save the universe, but I can't save myself.

Janet's dead or I would tell her. She always knew what to do to. Especially in circumstances like this. After all, her husband used to hit her, Janet survived, but I'm not as strong as she was. I can't do it again. Not after Jonas; it took everything I had and more to survive that, and I'm not strong enough. Besides back then Dad helped me, and now he's somewhere out in the galaxy with the Tok'Ra.

I wish I could ask for help. I wish I could walk into Jack's office and just ask for help, but I can't.

I'm here in my house, alone, scared, bleeding, and I can't move.

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A tall silver-haired man paced back and forth in front of a large window overlooking a mostly empty room. Back and forth, back and forth he paced like a caged tiger awaiting the opening of the cage door. The only difference between the man and the tiger was the man's eyes. Dark brown eyes that were usually the only windows to his battered and scarred soul were filled with impatience, with anger, but overwhelmingly with worry. Not worry for himself, worry for her, his better half, his personal guardian angel.

Another man, tall and dark with the sign of Apothis seared in gold on his forehead, stood quietly out of the silver-haired man's way. This man did not move, showed no open expression on his face, yet anyone who knew him could read his own worry for her on his face. But he did not join the silver-haired man in his pacing; it was one of the differences between the two similar men. The dark man stood stoically showing no emotion, the silver-haired man paced letting his worry show in his every action, the dark man could if he chose to, show how he felt about her, the silver-haired man was forbidden to show how he felt, except under circumstances like these, when they had no clue where she was.

And so in silence the silver-haired man paced, lean, wiry body whipping through turns, with his back slouched, and the dark man stood stoically, back ramrod straight, powerful, heavily built arms straight with his large hands gathered at the small of his back. The silence of the room so normally filled with the laughter and jests of the two men, another man, and her, was penetrating and nervous. This in turn caused both men to worry more, so used were they to listening for the moods and atmospheres of situations.

The silence spell was broken when a man of medium built and slightly taller than average, rushed into the room. Like the silver-haired man, his best friend, this man's light brown hair was cut short, yet there the resemblance ended. He nervously pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and spoke, words coming out in a rush, "She's not on base, Jack," he said to the silver-haired man. "And she's not answering her cell or her home phone. Where could she be? Thor may like her 'dumb ideas' but he usually beams you up first, so it's not Thor, right?"

The silver-haired man, Jack sighed, and stopped pacing long enough to face the younger, openly nervous man, "Right Daniel. And Carter's never late for anything. I say we go to her house, she could be sick or hurt or something," He said brown eyes dark with worry as he stared out the window at the giant stone circle that had brought his guardian angel into his life.

"She could have overslept," the younger man, Daniel offered, voice filled with a bit of the confidence he had gained after working with this lean, wiry, dark eyed soldier for eight years and knowing him for nine years.

"S-Carter? Oversleep? Daniel, she's two hours late. That's earth-shattering for Carter," Jack said trying desperately to sound calm and in control. Trying not to run out of the room and drive to her house and demand an explanation from her. For making him worry, for scaring him, for once again making him realize with her absence that he was not whole without her. Instead, he masked his fear for Sam with the military mask he had perfected long ago.

"What do you think Teal'c?" Daniel asked looking at the silent Jaffa, as he pushed up his glasses again.

"It would be wise to check ColonelCarter's residence," the tall stoic Jaffa stated in his customary manner, not betraying his worry for their friend, and fellow member of the family of SG-1.

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Less than half an hour later, the three men arrived at Sam's little house. Outside nothing seemed wrong, everything was in its place, but then they went to the door and entered. On the inside Sam's normally bright cheerful, cozy home was dark and a mess. Furniture was broken and small knick-knacks were strewn all over the floor. Pictures were broken and crumpled in piles. Old pizza boxes, Chinese take-out boxes, and bags from McDonald's were plied on the countertops. Dirty dishes were plied and stacked precariously in the overflowing sink.

This was not how Sam's home usually was, all three men knew very well. Silently, hurriedly, they spread out looking for Sam, sixth senses honed by years spent in battle screaming that something was wrong, that Sam's safety had been breeched.

Jack, the man who loved her in silence, the man who could never have her, the man who would always be there for her, found her. She was crumpled up in a corner of her bedroom. Blood coated her thin body and streaked her blonde hair. "Teal'c! Daniel! She's in here! Call the base we need a med team here now!" Jack yelled, in full command-mode.

Quickly, with an oddly steady and practiced hand he checked her pulse, praying harder than he had that fateful day that Charlie died. She had to live, she was his life, without her there was no point, no purpose, she was his light, his guardian angel.

Slow and weak, her pulse came. But it came.

She was alive. Barely, but alive.

And she wasn't alone anymore.

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When Sam woke up in the infirmary, almost two weeks later, she found three exhausted men slumped around her bed. Translations and pictures of artifacts surrounded Daniel, unlit kel'nor'reem candles surrounded Teal'c, and paperwork, requisition forms, mission reports, all the daily paperwork of running a busy active wartime base surrounded Jack. All three men were asleep, looking far more tired and far older than Sam, who had seen all three at their best and worst could remember them. Especially Jack, sleep usually made him look at least twenty years younger and wiped the pains and horrors of his life from his face, but as Sam gazed at him, he looked older than his years and all the horror, all the pain and heartbreak were visible on his expressive, sleeping face. Still weak, and so very tired, Sam's eyes quickly closed, and she fell back into the pain filled dream world, where nothing she did to escape worked, and she was trapped completely by Pete Shanahan.

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When the three men awoke, the new CMO, Dr. Brighton, was checking Sam's vitals. The doctor had seen finally, what Sam had kept her from seeing for so long. The scars, the bruises, the cuts, all of which were normal for Sam Carter to have, except theses were not caused on a mission, these were the mark of an abusive relationship. Brighton had told the men of the story Sam's body told for her. Knowing how close Sam was to these three, knowing that even though Sam had tried valiantly to keep them from knowing, the cat was very much out of the bag. They had found her, near death, beaten to a bloody pulp, and nothing on this world or on any other was going to keep the men of SG-1, for the General was still in so many ways a member of that close-knit family, from knowing exactly what had caused all of Sam's injuries. The only reason they were here in the infirmary and not in jail for killing Pete was that Sam was so near death none would leave her, for fear they would lose her. None could bear the thought of life without Sam, that they had put off their hunt for her attacker to wait by her side until she was out of danger, until they knew for certain whether nor not they would have to bury their sister, their friend, and to one of the three his angel. Dr. Brighton had known that Sam was popular on base, well loved by everyone, after all the Lt. Colonel had saved the world and all the men and women on base so many times everyone had pretty much stopped counting. But she had near seen a base rally around one person like this. But then, in all her time at the SGC, there had been few world-saving missions where many, or rather SG-1, had been hurt badly. Walter Davis the quiet and brilliant Sgt who kept the General organized arranged so that Jack only saw the paperwork that he absolutely needed to each day, and saw that it was brought to the infirmary so that the General was not forced, once again, to choose between Sam and duty. Col. Reynolds, the 2IC of the base was handling 90 of the day-to-day running of the base, with the help of Ferretti, the leader of SG-2 and the official 3IC of the base. The scientists on base were keeping their ideas to themselves, not wanting to disturb anyone with scientific progress or analysis of alien technology while the senior scientist on base lay so terribly injured. The gate technicians were doing everything they could to keep the gate running without the one person on Earth who understood it completely and instinctively. All the SG teams were under strict orders to cause no problems out in the universe, to not get hurt, and to stay sharp. It was never said, but everyone on base knew that even though SG-1 and the General, especially the General, had the first swings at Pete Shanahan, they would get their shot, because nobody messed with Carter without messing with all of them. She had saved their asses too many times to count, and they would repay their debt.

In fact, Dr. Brighton realized, the only one on base who seemed unaffected by the hushed tones and eerie silences of the normally bright and bustling base, was CIA agent Kerry Johnson, the woman the General was dating. Only she didn't seem to understand the General need to be at Sam's side, night and day. Only she didn't understand the sad irony that was behind the fact it was the General who had found Sam. It was as if the woman had never actually read one of SG-1's mission reports, never seen the General and his Colonel interact, never seen the awkward silences that were all to common between them since the Sam had gotten engaged and the Jack had begun dating Kerry. Everyone was wondering whether or not it was appropriate to take Kerry aside and explain the facts of SG-1 to her. Explain the facts of Jack O'Neill and Sam Carter to her, explain that they had nearly always been Sir and Carter, the Colonel and his Captain, the Colonel and his Major, the General and his Colonel. The Captain/Major/Lt. Colonel and her Colonel/General. But none could do it, none could believe that the woman could be the naïve, that she could honestly not see that the General was not sitting at the beside of a trusted and beloved subordinate, a longtime second; no he was sitting at the beside of the love of his life, of the woman he was destined to grow old with, and be happy with. So they waited, either for Agent Kerry Johnson to finally see the truth, or for Jack t finally admit it aloud, to tell Kerry that his heart was with Sam, and nothing could ever change that.

While the doctor checked Sam's vitals, hoping for a change for the better, Jack woke up. "Any change doc?" He sounded so much more tired than he had when Brighton had first come to the SGC. The prospect of losing Sam was becoming too much, and the doctor counted the days until she would have to administer a sedative for the General to get any restful and thus useful sleep at night.

"I'm afraid not sir. The EEG indicates that she woke up for a minute or so earlier, and while that's a good sign, she fell right back into the coma."

"But it's a start, right? She woke up once, so she'll wake up again?" He was so eager, he needed her awake, telling him that she was fine. Then everything would be normal, and he would feel confident enough about leaving her side to kill that son of bitch bastard that her own brother had introduced her too. He also needed to talk to Kerry. These last two weeks had made him realize once again, that there was no getting over Sam Carter, that he had to do something to change the way he and Sam had been living for so long, with regrets and too many things left unsaid, too many things left undone, like that fishing trip he was going to take her on up at his cabin in Minnesota. But first, he had to tell Kerry that although she was nice, that although she was a wonderful person, his heart was taken and had been for most of the eight years he had known Samantha Carter.

"It's a start sir. But some coma patients slip in and out. Waking up permanently is another thing entirely. Best thing the three of you can do for her is talk to her, she might hear you."

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Kerry Johnson was not as naïve as some believed her to be. She could see that Jack felt more for his former second, for _his_ Lt. Colonel, than he was supposed to. You had to be blind to not see it, and she had it on authority that several blind people had seen the bond between Carter and O'Neill. Yes, Kerry saw it, she just choose to ignore it. She firmly believed that with time, Jack could love her with the passion, conviction, and complete devotion that he loved Sam Carter with. After all Carter had moved on, gotten tired of waiting, had gotten engaged to another man. And Kerry really had thought that she was winning this war for Jack's heart, but ever since Jack and the male members of SG-1 had rushed Carter into the infirmary two weeks before, Kerry had seen the truth. She had won the battle, but Sam Carter had won the war. So over the last two weeks as the base rallied around SG-1, for as far as the base would always be concerned, SG-1 was O'Neill, Carter, Jackson, and Teal'c; and as Jack completely ignored her though she tried valiantly to get him to leave Carter for a few hours to loosen up and have fun, she ignored the truth staring her in the face. Kerry Johnson was stubborn and had always gotten what she wanted, and so she wouldn't give up until she had too. Even if the romantic in her cried for Jack and Col. Carter. She had found that if she didn't think of the Lt. Col. as Sam, then it was easier. Of course, going to the infirmary several times, a day to see if Jack had moved from that chair did help either, but she found herself wandering there, everyday.

"Jack, dear, you really should get out of here for a few hours. The doctor can page you if something happens," she heard her voice reciting the two-week-old plea. She honestly didn't think he'd come, hell she didn't he'd move! But every day she tried.

"No I can't. I need to be here Kerry, can't you understand that? Besides doc says she woke up for a minute in the night, and maybe she's ready to come out of it. I can't leave Kerry, I'm sorry."

"Jack, what are you trying to prove by staying here? That you're a good CO? Everyone on base knows this. That you care about your people, again everyone knows this. You don't have to stay here to prove anything Jack. Please come on, some fresh air will do you good."

"I have to stay Kerry. I'm sorry; I didn't want it to end like this but…"

"But you love her and you're finally getting though you're thick head? I'm the one who should be sorry; I kept trying to keep you when you weren't mine to have."

"Kerry, I…I am sorry."

"I know Jack. This was going to be the one thing that did us in anyway. I could live with all your issues, except one. Samantha Carter. I can't compete against a lady you never stopped loving, God knows it's hard enough to compete against a ghost. Promise me this Jack, just one thing, promise me."

"What?"

"When she wakes up, don't screw this up. I'm enough of a romantic to be able to see the real thing when it's in front of me, and the two of you, you're the real thing. So don't crew this up Jack O'Neill, do what you have to do to get her. And remember, this base has had a civilian in charge before. It's been great Jack, I'll see you around." With that, Kerry walked out. This time she had said what needed to be said, and she had done her part in the grand design that was forever tangled by the knotted threads of Jack and Sam.

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Another week pasted, without Sam waking, not even for a minute in the night. The Tok'ra and Asguard were unreachable, and the Nox, who had closed off their Stargate years before, were also unreachable. No alien technology would be helping Sam to recover, just modern Tauri science, and a whole ton of luck.

Finally, nearly four weeks after she had been found, Sam woke up. Jack had been taking a power nap between reading reports, his head lying on his arms, which rested on her bed, by her hand. When Sam awoke, she knew immediately where she was, but when she moved her left hand, Jack had a thing about sitting with his back to a door, and encountered a head of hair; she didn't know what to think. Jack after too many long years on Special Ops missions and missions to other planets, woke up instantly.

"Sam? You're awake! Doc! She's awake! Hey Daniel, Teal'c, Sam's awake!" In his absolute joy to see her awake and looking far more alive than she had in the past month, Jack forgot to call her Carter. She was Sam, his Sam, and like Hell was he going to let anyone hurt her ever again.

"Sam? You're awake! What happened? Why didn't you tell us? God, Sam you gave us a scare!" Daniel was so excited to see his 'sister' awake that he forgot the pact between the three men, to not ask or pressure her in any way to tell them what had happened.

"Indeed Col.Carter, you provided us with a fright we have not known for sometime." Teal'c was more sedate in his words and the speed with which they flew out of his mouth, but the emotion was there, the fear, the joy, and the love for his 'sister.'

"Out of the way gentlemen, thank you," the doctor cut in, noticing that either Sam or Jack had gripped the others' hand and wasn't letting go, "well Col. how do you feel?"

"Sore, tired, head hurts" Sam listed her complaints with a scratchy voice. The guys were instantly more worried than before, Sam would say that she was fine if she was half dead, what was wrong if she actually listed complaints?

"Well, the pain meds should be kicking in soon. I couldn't risk them while you were in the coma, and besides you had a concussion then. You are one lucky lady, though. If these three hadn't found you when they did, you wouldn't be here today. And another thing these three aren't going to tell you, they haven't left the infirmary since they brought you in. Like I said, you are one lucky lady to have three such devoted men in your life." With that, Dr. Brighton stepped aside, knowing that Sam needed her guys more than she needed a doctor at the moment.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys," Sam rasped.

"Sam you have nothing to be sorry for, we should have noticed how your personality was changing. This is not your fault." Daniel said scooting up closer to Sam's right side.

"Didn't tell. Was too scared. To ashamed to admit that I made big mistake," Sam voice was still raspy, even though the guys were giving her ice chips to ease the soreness of her throat.

"Didn't Daniel just say it Sam, it is not your fault. Pete is the one to blame, and believe me he's going to get his." Jack said, one hand still holding hers tightly, the other, gently brushing her hair out of her face.

Realizing that Jack needed a minute with Sam, Daniel stood up, his knees creaking loudly, "Teal'c come on. Let's inform the base that Sam's awake and not ready for visitors yet."

"Indeed that would be a wise course of action DanielJackson. Col.Carter, if you require anything, please do not hesitate to ask. And it will be my pleasure to show PeteShanahan how men such as he are treated on Chulak, if that is your wish." With his customary head bow, Teal'c left the infirmary with Daniel.

"So sorry sir," Sam said choking back tears over how wonderful they were all being.

"Oforcryingoutloud Sam, how many times do we have to say this, it is not your fault. It is his fault and he is going to regret it. I promise you, he will pay."

"You called me Sam, you almost never do that."

"Almost losing you again made me realize a couple things. We've waited long enough, maybe too long, but I need you more than ever. I love you Sam, and I'm prepared to do what I have to in order to be with you," Jack said, looking into her eyes and hoping against all hope that he hadn't waited too long.

He was rewarded with a gazillion watt Sam Carter smile, the likes for which hadn't been since in the SGC since her engagement, 'I love you too Jack. I didn't think I'd get a chance to tell you. I thought I'd lost my chance when I started dating…him. When you started seeing Kerry, I knew I'd lost you, if I'd ever even had you in the first place."

"You never lost me Sam, and you never will." Shifting out of his chair and moving to sit on the bed, Jack pulled Sam into his arms. "The past is the past. I've finally got you, and I'm never letting go."

Even though she was physically weaker at the moment than at any other point in her life, and that included when she was recovering after Jonas, she wrapped her arms around him and smiled into his shoulder. Finally everything was moving towards being right again. He would help her, and so would Daniel and Teal'c. She finally had what she had been waiting for, and after eight years, Sam Carter was determined to find a way to have her cake and eat it too.


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